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To talk about achieving our goals, we have to talk about keeping the bar low. Why? Because anyone who has achieved success will tell you, it not about the big leap. (Of course, we are made to feel this way.) It’s actually about all the tiny steps (and small decisions) that it takes to get momentum going. This especially comes in handy when you’ve lost your motivation.
I can't talk about keeping the bar low without taking about my dog, Jake. We think Jake is 15 years old. The facts: we adopted him in 2003 and he wasn't a puppy. He could be 17. #winningatlife What we noticed right away with Jake is that he puts in the least possible effort. Let's take the dog park. He will plant himself in the middle of the field, and as other dogs chase each other, Jake spins himself around barking and wagging his tail - as if he's ALSO in on the chase. But let's be honest, he really isn't. And while yes, this sounds like a life hack for having old joints, he's been doing this from day one. Other questions Jake seems to ask himself...Why swim when I can just lay in the water? Why NOT sleep ALL day? Alright, let's talk about humans and low bars. Because, unfortunately we can’t sleep all day. Keeping the bar low has helped me reboot SO many times in my life. Why? It helps me shift my mindset. Some examples of me lowering the bar: “I’ll be killing it if I get up everyday at 5:30am this week.” VS. “Get up at 5:30 one time this week.” “I’ll only be happy if I run 5 miles today.” VS. “I’ll be happy to get outside today for a half hour.” “Drink a gallon of water each day.” VS. “Bring your water bottle when you leave the house.” “I’ll be a good wife if I send a birthday card to all of our family this year.” VS. “Send cards to those you can and call/email/FB message the rest.” “Don’t buy coffee out this week.” VS. “Buy coffee 2x this week.” You get the picture. Every time I am down and/or have lost steam, I go back to setting the bar low. When I sit down to write out my low bar goals, sure, the voices of “Lindsey, you should know how to do this by now” or “Really?! This again?!” creep in. And then I feel really smart. Because, I remind myself that with setting the bar low: 1) I almost can’t fail because they are so achievable. 2) The achievement WILL make me feel better. 3) I almost always do more. This is the way I kick start myself. So, knowing emotions, people, other priorities will inevitably pop up AND knowing we’re human and will experience a plateau during a task or project – how do we keep up? Set a low bar and design with your “distractions” in mind. We design knowing we will need to build momentum - again. We design knowing we will need to boost our confidence – again. We design knowing we will have negative thoughts - again. It’s all going to be there. Again and again and again. For many of us, we are fueled by our achievements. We get a little dopamine boost every time we check something off. If you’re thinking to yourself “Only lazy people keep the bar low.” or “Small goals are too easy.” That second point IS The point. It’s harder NOT to meet these goals. (It’s like a frown...it takes MORE muscle to frown than to smile.) And, if you’re not getting stuff done anyway, think about how nice it’ll be to check a tiny thing off. It doesn’t have to be forever. In fact, it won’t be. Because small achievements + time = bigger achievements. Well, except for Jake. But he’s winning at life anyway. Author Lindsey Lathrop works with motivated people who want to make a change but feel stuck - stuck in their thinking, stuck because of perfection paralysis and imposter syndrome, you name it. She gets the value of a solid support system, and that's what she's able to give her clients. Lindsey believes in "eating the frog," good socks, strong coffee, and paying it forward. ![]() The “dog days,” I always thought, were those long summer days so devastatingly hot that the only energy dogs could muster was to lie around panting to help them alleviate the heat. I learned recently that the term “Dog Days of Summer” actually has nothing to do with slowing down, but instead, it turns out, the dog days refer to the dog star, Sirius, and its position in the heavens during this time of year. Good to know, but I prefer the image of my Dog, Oz the Great, making the most of the summer by slowing down and truly appreciating what is important. Oz is an eleven-something year-old super mutt. He came into our life when he was three years old, already a soul who has seen a lifetime of pain. Yet he seemed to put it all behind him when he joined our family. Oz has been my mentor since the day we brought him home 8 years ago, but he becomes especially wise during the summer, when he reminds me to not only be and stay present, but to play every day even if it is only for five minutes, not hold a grudge, jump up and greet people in your life that you love even if you just saw them ten minutes ago, avoid biting when growling will do, accept yourself for who you are and where you are at this very moment, go for walks every day, and drink lots of water. All good lessons, but I would like to focus on the slowing down and staying present. Because as humans, even during summer, we forget to do exactly that. I personally find myself trying to pack in as much as I can in the summer including trying to have a year of dinner parties within three months, hiking all of those trails I didn’t get to over the spring, visiting as many family members as possible, tackling exterior house projects, visiting every creeme stand in the state of Vermont, and other “over-functioning” opportunities. For my dog, Oz summer means taking naps in the sun, rolling around in the grass, and just sitting in the backyard and watching the insects pollinate the flowers. He knows to look up at the stars when they magically appear before him at dusk. And during the day, he also knows to look up at the sun, only he does so without sunglasses, so he looks up through the trees and allows them to soften the light streaming through. For him, the dog days of summer mean being and going slower, in his walks around the neighborhood or when he eats. He has it figured out. For me, as the founder of FromWithin Coaching, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the explosive growth our organization has seen in the past year and I have spent more time than I care to admit working on the business. But Oz the dog has helped remind me what is important: to slow down and see what is happening right in front of me. Because in order for me to navigate the growth of our organization, I need to appreciate where we are right now as a company. So, take it from Oz, tap the brakes a little and transition out of summer nice and slow. Listen and watch for what might be next for you and your life. Oz the Great is all knowing and truly powerful because he sees what is before him. What is possible for you? AuthorAmy Magyar is the founder of FromWithin Coaching. As a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), she specializes in Change Management for people at all stages, ages, and wages. Her life is based in Burlington, Vermont where she is a firm believer in "getting outside and playing". Ever have a summer that’s just been a bit…different? This has been one of those summers for me. We’ve been working through some anticipated changes in home ownership and this is my first summer in as long as I can remember that I don’t have vegetable or flower gardens to tend. While this might not seem odd to some, gardening is pretty much in my DNA. My grandfather, a botany professor, shared his love of all things botanical with me. Growing up our family owned flower and landscaping businesses for years, and most of my summer memories contain family, flowers, and taking care of the harvest. Earlier this winter, when I received my new gardening catalogs in the mail, instead of hungrily pawing through them for fun new things to plant this summer, I found myself wondering how I was going to enjoy beautiful spaces, dig in the dirt, and partake in the harvest. Without a garden I had to find alternatives to meet my need to weed. I did! In early summer I visited the Vermont Flower Show to enjoy beautiful spaces; in mid- summer my daughter and I volunteered in our community gardens; and as summer is starting to draw to a close we have been enjoying the bounty of the farmers markets in our region. This summer, my energy has shifted from gardening to staging and home showings. Similarly, has your summer also been a bit different? Maybe you’re having to think creatively about your career path? Are you trying to grow your skills in new, different ways? Are you trying to find new ways to shift your energy into a more fulfilling way of life? Like my summer gardening challenge, a career change can be daunting. Here are a few tips to help along the way:
This summer, I’ve learned that thinking creatively about my garden woes created many great adventures for me. A bit of digging into your career could do the same for you. We can’t wait to see where your career change adventures take you! AuthorHeather Palow, Career and Business Coach. I work with entrepreneurs, career changers and people who want to take control of their lives by clarifying their ideal lives and achieving their goals. |
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